Say more
To your surprise, this talk is going well. Here are four ways to keep the conversation going.
Validate
Acknowledge the concerns you are hearing, even if you disagree on the solutions.
👍 Try this…
“I hear what you’re saying. I agree there's too big a patchwork of abortion restrictions, right now. It's confusing.”
👍 Try this…
“I know you've looked into this a lot, and I'm glad to be talking with you about it.”
Ask for more
Continue validating what you’re hearing by asking for more information.
👍 Try this…
“Your perspective is new to me. Where could I learn more about what you’re saying?”
👍 Try this…
“What if I listen to a podcast you recommend, and you listen to one I recommend, and talk about what we learned?”
Pivot
Before offering your thoughts, check out whether the other person is willing to listen.
👍 Try this…
“I’m with you on being concerned about this. Can I offer my perspective on how to address it?”
👍 Try this…
“This is a really challenging topic. I’ve been reading up on it, and I’d like to share some things I’ve learned. Is that OK?”
Perspective
After you’ve listened, share your perspective.
👍 Try this…
“This is why I see this issue this way.” Avoid saying things like, “Here’s how it actually is.”
👍 Try this…
“I’ve found these sources really helpful in better understanding this issue, though I know you might not find them useful.”