BackWho you’re talking to dictates what you say. Review our Communication Styles if you haven’t already. And remember: These examples show communication skills, and do not indicate correct or incorrect viewpoints.
Choose the communication style of the person you’re speaking to:
If you hear them say…
“You say you are for life and against abortion, but you oppose government programs to help children have good lives after they are born. How is that not hypocritical of you?”
👍 Try this…
“I get that this sounds hypocritical to you. Are you open to me explaining how I put those together?”
- Acknowledge what the other person has said and see if they are willing to listen. If not, exit the conversation.
👎 Avoid this…
“Talk about hypocrisy. How can you be against capital punishment for murderers but be okay with killing unborn babies?”
- Firing back charges of hypocrisy never works.
If you hear them say…
"How could you possibly think it’s OK to take another life — especially the life of someone who is completely defenseless?"
👍 Try this…
“I can see we are both really passionate about this. Here’s where I’m coming from…”
- Acknowledge the emotions in play and signal that you’re about to offer a different perspective.
👎 Avoid this…
“OK, so I’m a baby-killer now?”
- Firing back defensively leads to escalation.
If you hear them say…
“You can’t say that you respect women if you don’t believe they have autonomy over their bodies.”
👍 Try this…
“I recognize this is complex and can seem like a contradiction. I can explain how I came to my view if you're open to hearing it.”
- Use personal stories and see if the other person is willing to listen to you. If not, look for a way to exit the conversation.
👎 Avoid this…
“Autonomy doesn’t give a license to kill babies.”
- Don’t return fire with more fire.
Additional communication styles...