BackWho you’re talking to dictates what you say. Review our Communication Styles if you haven’t already. And remember: These examples show communication skills, and do not indicate correct or incorrect viewpoints.
Choose the communication style of the person you’re speaking to:
If you hear them say…
“Abortion is like religion and politics. Let’s not talk about it”
👍 Try this…
“I agree that abortion is a tough subject. I think we are handling it OK right now. We can talk about it privately if you like.”
- Acknowledge the concern and see if you can offer a way to continue in a constructive way.
👎 Avoid this…
“You are selling us short if you think we can’t discuss this in a constructive way.”
- Don’t insult a Peacekeeper. It will just aggravate their anxiety.
If you hear them say…
“It’s really impolite to bring this up right now.”
👍 Try this…
“I understand. I’m just really curious about where everyone is on this. But we can talk another time.”
- Sometimes it’s okay to yield to the Peacekeeper. Pick up the conversation with other family members individually later.
👎 Avoid this…
“Sounds like you're just afraid someone might say something offensive.”
- You are proving why the Peacekeeper feels justified in stopping the conversation!
If you hear them say…
“There’s no need to fight about this.”
👍 Try this…
“I don’t mean to stress you out. I really think we can talk about this without fighting.”
- Acknowledge their distress. Reassure them that conversations don’t need to be fights.
👎 Avoid this…
“I don’t know why we always have to walk on eggshells around you.”
- Dismissing the Peacekeeper’s concerns will only make them more anxious.
Additional communication styles...